Broken Treadmills

This run was not run properly: It was fueled by frustration. I remember always thinking about how it'd be nice to be a runner because if you're angry, you can just go run it off. But Coach Bennett constantly says that you're supposed to leave the day's stressors behind you. If you're running before work, you shouldn't be letting your meeting with your boss, or your presentation take over while you're running. I always found this frustrating because if I'm not supposed to let off my steam while running, when should I? The point is yes, running can be an outlet, but it's not supposed to be a "run while I rant" type of outlet. More like a "I'm focusing on my run so I'm not focusing on X" outlet.

Today, however, I ran with emotions. It happens to the best of us. As much as I am aware that I should just be focusing on the run, I was thinking about everything else. The woman next to be sniffingly ever 20 seconds? Driving me nuts. The conversation I had with a coworker two days ago? Embarrassing me. The little comment this guy made about running? Angering me the more I thought about it. To top it off, my treadmill STOPPING randomly made me audibly yell. Talk about embarrassing!

Truly, from start to finish I was ranting in my head. I even caught myself mouthing words and gesturing while on the treadmill. I wasn't even in that bad of a mood going into the run. I wasn't necessarily excited to run but I wasn't mad about it either. Somehow though as soon as I'm just cruising, all of these random non-events from the past few days start trickling into my mind.

What helped me was listening to #NRC. It was obviously harder than usual to focus on Coach Bennett speaking, but I tried to pull myself away from my thoughts whenever he hopped back on. I also decided to change my music a few times to try to find the right vibe. I started off with my current favorite songs and then transitioned to my running playlist which is significantly more upbeat.

The run itself wasn't bad at all, despite me running it wrong. Had I been outside or not physically ready for the run, these negative thoughts would've really impacted my performance. However, I really was just cruising the whole time. I also listened to my own advice and stopped increasing my speed at some point. I started around a 10'40 and ended at a 9'40 but I ran majority of the miles around the 10'30 pace.

One thing that I've tried to tell new runners is that when you're running and not having a good time, actually check-in with yourself to figure out why. Most of the time, it's mental. On my harder runs, when I'm truly counting down the miles, the minutes, and the songs until it's over, I always think "What actually is wrong right now?" Does your body physically hurt? No. Are you struggling to catch your breath? No. Okay, well then, you're fine and you're just not enjoying it. But you can still do it. Today, I didn't need any of that because I felt good - but I thought about the concept anyway.

Now, back to the main point which really hasn't been made clear because of all my rambles - my treadmill BROKE while I was running. This absolutely infuriated me. It first sent me into a cool down at 20-minutes for no apparent reason. Then, it decided to just break 10-minutes after. I was incredibly angry because I am the type of runner who does not stop on runs, really ever. The fact that I had to stop and actually switch treadmills (thank you to the sweet woman next to me who was about to leave who gave me hers) made me want to speed up on my run to make up extra time. However, I reminded myself that running faster right now wasn't what I needed. Stopping for a couple minutes wasn't changing anything for me. I was in such a good place when it stopped that it was easy to start again - which isn't always the case. This definitely made me reconsider giving treadmills kudos though. I may be switching back to the great outdoors.

Run #18: Saturday, July 26th: 6.2 Miles - 10'27 Pace