Friday Night Runs - Accomplishment? Yes. Exhaustion? Yes.

I just haven't been able to motivate myself to write these blogs, but I'm going to try today.

Unfortunately, I'm not totally in the mood to be doing this now either and that is incredibly annoying given how picture perfect my day would appear.

It's a Saturday morning. I have no plans, no obligations. I woke up at 8am for no apparent reason. I bought new coffee creamer yesterday and have just brewed 6 cups of coffee. I lit my favorite candle and am laying on my couch while I attempt to write this blog.

This is the type of morning I envision when I think about a perfect weekend morning.

So, why am I not in the mood for this? Because while completing my long runs on Friday nights has been lovely in many regards, they are absolutely messing with my sleep.

These past two weeks I've decided to do my long runs after work on Friday. There have been some clear benefits of this decision. One, I have less time to think and stress about my run. I'm working during the day and when 5pm hits, I know I have to get out there pretty soon if I want to see the sunset. Two, I'm able to enjoy my weekend more. Instead of laying around Friday preparing, completing my run Saturday, and then ultimately feeling too tired to do anything Saturday night, I'm able to get my run done right at the forefront of the weekend, when I realistically would be laying around anyway.

However, I've felt like garbage after each of these Friday night adventures.

I wasn't fully committed on completing my long run until about 5:15pm yesterday. I had been playing around with the idea while working, but honestly it sounded like a large endeavor (which it was). I wanted it to be done so that I'd be able to say yes to any plans that would maybe arise today, but I also knew that 15.5 miles is the longest I'd run in almost 2 years.

I laid down for a second after work and then realized I just needed to do it. I went out and pressed start and just started running. This run was called the "25K Run" in #NRC with Coach Bennett. As per usual, his coaching was perfect. I started off easing into the run, as is always recommended.

Last week was a timed-based long run - 2 hours to be exact. This week was obviously distance based. That's the one thing that kept motivating me, despite me knowing that I'd run around 4 more miles than I completed the previous week. The 2-hour run last week was mentally challenging. I was feeling really good at half-way and could feel that I was speeding up, but I kept reminding myself it was not a distance-based run and if I ran too fast now, I'd end up having to run past my house, which happens to be a pet peeve of mine.

I tried to use this information for motivation while I now covered the 15.5 miles. While I didn't want to intentionally speed up at any point, I reminded myself that if I do naturally progress throughout this run, it can be done quicker than expected.

I ran up the West Side Highway. Each week so far, I've managed to run up a new pier which I've loved. I have realized though that while I like hitting the piers while running out, I don't love it as much when running back. There's something about seeing your end point but knowing that you are going to be taking 10 different turns to get there that is just a tad unsettling. As I ran, I just focused on trying to make the run as interesting as I could. I took a couple different paths, hopped on some piers, and got to see an engagement which was exciting.

The piers are a lot longer than they appear.

For most of the run, I was fine. I wasn't thinking "wow this is so much fun" but I wasn't miserable either. I know myself well and know that once I start, I will finish, so at various points throughout the run I just told myself how excited I'll feel when it's done.

At one point, Coach Bennett asked about how you like to perceive your runs. Do you think about them as percentages, miles, or time and do you think about it in terms of how much you've completed or how much longer you have to go. I'm more of a percentage person. When I was running yesterday and hit my first 5K, I thought "1/5 of the way done, 4/5 to go." It didn't seem that bad. If I would've thought "3 miles done, 12+ more to go," I would've been a little spooked. It's worse if my mind goes to minutes. I felt motivated when I knew I had 60% of my run left to go. However, when I realized yesterday that the 60% is likely going to take me 2 MORE HOURS, I quickly distracted myself from that thought.

Another thing is that it's interesting how when you start running further your perception on distance changes. I don't mean this in a "3 miles is nothing, I can run 10" way, but in a "yesterday I didn't want to run 3 miles and today I'm excited that I only have 3 miles left in this 15 mi run" way. I remember hitting 9 miles and thinking "only a 10k to go." But, when I see I have a 10K recovery run in my training plan, it's intimidating.

Again, all about perception. I remember distinctly hitting halfway yesterday and feeling really good. Then, I thought about the mileage and realized that, while I was running back home, I was running a solid 7.75 miles back home. How could I possibly be feeling good about that?

Anyway, this run was going fine until it wasn't. I was feeling pretty good when Coach Bennett hopped on to tell me that we only had 10K to go. I could tell I was speeding up too. The 10K quickly became 5K and I was thrilled. However, my body didn't agree. I don't know if it was because I was running a little quicker or if I hadn't fueled well enough, but I hit a wall. With 4K left to go, I was mentally and physically struggling. When I'm down bad in a run, I start doing the math to try to distract and motivate myself. "Okay, 5K is 3.1 miles. I have 4K left. 4K would be 0.60 less than 5K. If I know I can run 5K in 30 minutes, that means I have less than 30 minutes to go." I'm basically rambling to take up time, but it's sometimes helpful. Unfortunately, nothing was really helping me at this point.

This brings me to something else I kept thinking about on my run. When I was around that point, and had yet to hit the wall, I was confident with my ability to run 5K more. However, with 5K to go, that means I've covered about 12.43 miles. The furthest I've run is 13.1 miles. So, then I'm thinking "while you're confident Alexia, you're about to run 2.5 miles longer than your longest run, and that run wasn't that great." I thought how silly of me to feel confident when I'm about to do something that I haven't even proved I can do yet.  I obviously stopped myself from getting too negative, but it was a good point.

As I was saying, that last 4k was rough. I started slowing down intentionally because I knew I'd rather finish the run than try to finish fast and fail. It didn't matter how much I slowed down though because it felt like I could barely keep going. I should've eaten a gel earlier on, but I'd already been feeling nauseous and didn't want to make it worse. However, I did ultimately finish the run.

I ended right in front of a deli shop, so I went in and bought a body armor. I probably looked incredibly unwell to everyone in that place. I could barely function. I was covered in so much sweat that it got in my eyes and next thing you know I had tears running down my face while trying to pay for my drink. I went and sat on the chair for a second, but then I felt bad about how dirty I was making the place, so I cleaned up and walked home. Here, I put a towel down on the hardwood floor and went horizontal immediately. Nothing about how I was feeling was good. Sure, I felt accomplished. But I also felt sick and sore and hungry but nauseous and just wanted it to go away. Ultimately, I ordered Chick-Fil-A. I don't care what people say, I will eat whatever I want after a long run. Last week it was Pad-Ke-Mao. This week - 12ct chicken nuggets, fries, and an Oreo milkshake. That made me happy.

Now, back to how I started this off. Why isn't my morning feeling as lovely as it should? Because I sleep TERRIBLY after a night-time long run. Pretty sure it's a thing for most runners. It seems so contradicting. If your body is exhausted, shouldn't you sleep like a baby? Logically, yes. Realistically, no. Something about putting your body through that much strain and effort just messes with it a bit. It's hard for your body to really recover from and ultimately the adrenaline and who knows what else just keeps you up. I tossed and turned for an hour. Put on some music. Then eventually fell asleep around 1am. I woke up at 6, wanting to just get up because I was so sick of trying to sleep, but knowing that it wasn't a good move. At 7:50 I just got up. I don't feel rested this morning, hence my disappointment. I joked with my mom last week about how going out on a Friday and going on a run both result in my laying on my couch for 6 hours on a Saturday. Funny how that happens. The only difference is I technically don't have a headache, can enjoy my coffee (I don't like coffee hungover), and know that eventually I'll feel better today. Plus, I will end up out and about on the town later today and will at least know that I've accomplished something big this weekend.

Run #35: 09/02 30 Minute Finish Lines - 3.17 mi 9'28 Pace

Run #36: 09/03 Mindful Meters 60 Minute Recovery Run - 6.45 mi 9'18 Pace

Run #37: 09/05 Two Hour Long Run - 11.74 mi 10'13 Pace

Run #38: 09/08 30 Minute Recovery Run - 3.15 mi 9'32 Pace

Run #39: 09/11Out Strong. Back Fast. Tempo Run - 3 mi 9'38 Pace

Run #40: 09/12 25K Run - 15.53 mi 9'52 Pace